I know you will not put the band score, but please can you tell me is this essay enough to get a band score 7.
Traditional subjects such as History, Politics etc were taught in schools spending more time rather than spending on teaching interpersonal and soft skills which is of greater use for students to find a good employment opportunities in future. In my opinion, although spending a good time on teaching traditional subjects, but also giving an equal or more importance to the skills could be a key solution to find a good job.
Firstly, History as a traditional subjects , in addition schools are the best way that our child to get to know about the past tradition, culture, ancient methods, languages as well as about our ancestors, for this reasons, traditional subjects should give more importance like any other subjects in schools.Knowing more about our culture, tradition, history is the only way that we can uphold about our beliefs.
However, due to the increased demand for the skills namely interpersonal and soft skills such as mathematical, marketing etc which is required in all enterprises or in a job market, I admit that by contrast, it is primary to teach the students about the skills in school in addition to the subject history or arts. One clear example, to illustrate here is when we are going for an interview the employer mainly look over the skills that the employee have rather than his knowledge about the traditional subjects because obviously, the employer ‘s motive is the growth of the company.
To summarize, I firmly believe that in school the teachers should give equal or either more importance to teach their students about the skills as it is the most important factor to find a good job. Even though it is good to have knowledge about the tradition and culture.
Is it good enough to get a score of 7? Please if you have time point out my mistakes.
Sorry I don’t give feedback or scores. But I will say, avoid using “etc”. Just decide on two examples and that’s enough.
Hi Miss Liz! I have a question. Why should you not use “etc” in IELTS Writing? Thank you!
You want to showcase your English, so choose your examples carefully and no need to add “etc”. The letters “etc” means unknown, unstated examples – don’t do that in a language test.
“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.
Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.
A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.
A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.
When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.
A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.
So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.”
― Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte